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kiazru
25 September 2009 @ 09:24 pm

This year I am still lazy. I don't know what I will do with myself.

I need to get my butt off of the computer or anything that I desire.

I need to get start on studying and study some more for my SAT. The least  that I want to do is to make other suffer because of me. I don't want to do that anymore.

I don't want to make other suffer because of my stupidity or poor judgment. I need to educate myself more on how to handle certain situation

better. I can't believe that as old as I am, I still can't be and act mature. I need a good judgment and wise thinking as well as action.



*sigh* I swear before myself and God that I will try to make things better and not having my parents or anyone else to suffer because of me.

I also swear that from today onward, I will act upon what needs to be act upon and work hard toward what needs to be accomplish. I will not

be a childish and self-centered little girl that always whine and complain about the work that is given to her. I will not place poor judgment

upon others without having to know them better. I will try my best to get to know people more and put off what is bad about that person,

though sometime it can't be helped.




So...God please this sinful being from being more misleading in life and help her suck it all up to be strong in life and do what she must do,

which is work hard in life and help others that are I need. The second worst already happen...I've

cried in front of my mom, may that I don't have to cry in front of my dad or both my parents. God, may that I will never cry in front of my parents.

The fear that someday my tears fall down my cheek as my parent stood there listening to me cry made my heart broke and shatter into a

thousand pieces so please let me die before my parents. I wish for my parents to live long and as well as me. If I die, please let it be a

natural death rather than a tragic one. I want to die peacefully, knowing that what I did during the time that I am on earth was a good deed

and have no regret as well as all my "un-finish business" was done. I hope that during the time that I am alive, I don't do things that I regret.

If I do regret it, please let me suck it up and move on with something else that are better and beneficial for

me and others as well.




So, I thank you God for all that you have done for me throughout my life. I feel lucky for being able to have the

life that I have now. I feel lucky to have parents that care about me day in and day out. I feel lucky to have a brother that though some time

annoy me, but have made me laugh and miss him if he weren't there. I feel lucky to have friends that are there for me, care about me, and

made me laugh a lot!! Though I am not lucky enough to have a soul mate that shares my feelings and protected me, but I will wait patiently

for one. Thank you God for blessing me with all the luck that you have given me. Please help me work hard so that my parents or anyone

else that I care about wouldn't have to suffer because of me. I am lucky to have all the people that I care about in my life. I don't want to make

their life miserable because of me, so my Lord, please help me work hard!!!


*Little small prayer* I pray that my dad will be safe on his trip and that his health will be better. I pray that he will be healthy and strong like he once was. I pray for my mom to be healthy as well and may that she wouldn't worry too much about my future. I pray that my brother will study hard too and make my parents proud! I pray that my friends and their family are healthy and are happy.


Also, my Lord, please don't let anything bad happen this year or another year until I feel strong enough to handle the situation. 

Also, I pray for my family in Vietnam's health and prosperity. Please wait a bit longer until I can be old enough to run my own business and increase wealth so that I can support you guys! I love you, though I may not show it, but I love you because deep inside I care. We are family and that is what we should do, right? ^_^.

Also, I pray that I will be able to make wise decision about my future. I want to choose the right path that allowed me prosperity so that I can help others. My Lord, please guide me into the right path to succeed this. ^_^!! I place my life in you hand and my other life in my own hands. Thank you once again. ^_^ I am very grateful!! 


*note: I feel religious all of the sudden, but it's okay. It's not some sort of ritual. ^_^ Now, I did swear to myself and God, may this be the proof that I swear and and will keep the promise!!!!!!! May that I will not broke the promise because I made this will God!

 
 
kiazru
16 September 2009 @ 09:05 pm
I am a precious gem that can't be easily touch. I am a pearl that is hidden inside a shell, waiting for you to come find me and break the shield that protected me. I long for you day and night, waiting is what I must do. Patient is what I must endure. I really want to break free, but I do not have enough strength for I am but a delicate little pearl. As delicate as I am, I can be quite dangerous. Be aware my preciousness, I cannot stop my poison once it has spread. By morning, I wait here inside this shell, by evening I slightly come out, by Night I am blinded that I can barely find my way. Please find me soon because I will let you know that "I love you".


Woot! I am so proud of myself. I feel so proud that I wrote this stuff. Hehe. Hey, this is mine and you can't copy it okay? ^_~ lol.

Sorry, Diana. I told you that I wouldn't be on my computer. I lied. I can't help it but not to get on. T__T I hope you understand!! Lol. Me and my laziness. :P
 
 
Current Mood: flirtyflirty
 
 
kiazru
02 September 2009 @ 07:40 pm
Let see, today was an okay day. I feel accomplished though since I've finish most of my homework in school. Now, I don't have much today except writing in this journal. I'm pretty much new to this; I've just started joining this site about two days ago with the help of my friend who introduce me to this website. I'm sure I'll get the hang of things once I've use it often and just try out stuff. Anyway, for those that read this, which probably very few people (only Diana..lol) I'm sorry if my page or journal look crappy. I've just started and I don't know how to make it look pretty or the way that I want it to be until I get the hang of it.


Random thoughts:

*Sigh* I wish my school have some hot guy. There's only few cute guys, but they're taken. Also, there's not many cute guy with fabulous hair. I noted earlier that my interest are hot guy with fabulous hair. Unfortunately for me, there's not many at my school and it make me mad because I can't look at any. Oh well, I guess I have to wait till I get to a university, then there will be a lot more guy that are good looking and have great hair.


So bored....